Friday, October 23, 2020
Friday, October 23, 2020

-

Home Climate Change Civil rights lawyers: COVID-19 reusable shopping bag bans violate religious liberty

Civil rights lawyers: COVID-19 reusable shopping bag bans violate religious liberty

Civil rights lawyers: COVID-19 reusable shopping bag bans violate religious liberty

Seeking to curb the spread of disease from cloth shopping bags, governors such as New Hampshire’s Chris Sununu and Massachusetts’ Charlie Baker attempted a bold move and banned them outright.  “From now on, reusable bags are prohibited and all regulations on plastic bag bans are lifted,” Baker said during a COVID-19 briefing on Beacon Hill.

“Not so fast,” said civil rights lawyers in a press statement issued last night.

“Reusable shopping bags are a statement of Green faith, community and devotion to Mother Gaia,” the statement reads. “Banning reusable bags and requiring single-use bags violates the separation of church and state.  New age religion is religion, pure and simple.  You can no more ban people’s beloved shopping bags than you can ban the burqa, the crucifix, or the Star of David.”

The Fourteenth Amendment to our Constitution applied the prohibition of religious discrimination enshrined in our First Amendment directly to the states,” civil rights attorneys explained. “The right of the people to proclaim their faith through reusable shopping bags in retail stores is sacred.  Unless Governors Sununu, Baker and the rest reverse these bans immediately or create reasonable accommodations such as bag disinfection stations and sensitivity training, we are prepared to file suit under the Civil Rights Act.  We will also apply for an immediate injunction to a Federal District Court judge in California and expect a national stay on this bigoted bag policy will issue nationwide.”

Green Congregationalists are in shock from coast to coast.  Many expressed fear.  “What will they come for next?” one Green spiritual leader asked, “suppose the bigots come after renewable energy subsidies, which to us are sacred?  Our wind turbines shine upon the mountain tops as the Cristo Redentor shines above Rio de Janeiro.  Our solar panels proclaim the Greenway from the rooftops.  We give up meat for tofu.  Separating trash and coming together to recycle is a treasured act of faith.  We must draw the line here and now or the entirety of Green devotional activity is threatened.”

A climate fundamentalist leader added, “yea verily I say unto thee, the day will come when climate crisis will drown the wicked in a great flood.  No act of faith is too small to help avert that day of reckoning.  One person’s soiled cloth bag is another’s act of spiritual self-sacrifice.”

When asked whether today’s Green devotional should be taught in public schools, the civil rights lawyers demurred.  “We must tackle these questions one at a time,” they told our reporter, “we’ll revisit that issue once the right of every Green to signal their virtue and proclaim their faith through the boutique shopping bag of their choice has been irrevocably redeemed.”

One woke shopper did not mince words saying, “they’ll have to pry my fair trade, organic sisal, indigenous-crafted bag off my cold dead shoulder!”

All articles on this site may be republished without modification and with an attribution of the author and a link to CFACT.org within the body of the article.

That was a Greenie Joke, Have a Great Day

Viral Posts

First Lady Melania Trump “My personal experience with COVID-19.”

First Lady Melania Trump: It was two weeks ago when I received the diagnosis that so many Americans across our country...

President Trump on Protecting America’s Seniors

Remarks by President Trump on Protecting America’s Seniors | Fort Myers, FL

Chairman Dan eases restrictions on travel, outdoor gatherings, sport, hairdressers and auctions.

Dan Andrews: There's been plenty said about how challenging 2020 has been. And it’s true. This year has...

President Donald J. Trump Rally in Johnstown, PA

President Trump Holds Make America Great Again Rally in Johnstown, PA  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdaOb8GxCjM Join the...

Over 1 million mail-in ballots could be rejected in the US election — and the rules are changing by the day

THE CONVERSATION Sarah John, Flinders University In the US election next month, record-breaking numbers of voters will cast their ballots by mail for the first time....

Before China Virus, US Incomes Hit a Record High and Poverty Reached a Record Low in 2019

Data released by the Census Bureau today show that 2019 was a historic year for raising Americans’ living standards. Real median...